Today I opened the refrigerator to put back some chicken and found my cat on the bottom shelf, hanging out like the cold fridge was where she was meant to be.

Today I watched an old Disney movie named Lilo and Stitch and cried for a good fifteen minutes which happens every time the little cartoon people mention "Ohana" and I am not ashamed of this because that movie was nominated for an Oscar! This is obviously grounds for validation!

Today I realised that I spent the better part of my first two years of college unlearning what high school taught me.

Today I also realised that sometimes I have to stare at my cat for a good fifteen seconds or so to determine whether or not she's actually alive. She's so lazy and fat that those fifteen seconds of intense analysis are absolutely critical.


Look at her. Utterly despicable.

I still kind of hate the weather.

That is all.

Problem: My major bores the daylights out of me.

Solution: Make more art to compensate.

Complications: Lack of motivation.

Story of my fucking life, y'all.

I hate the motherfucking weather.

I figure since I don't take LJ seriously anymore I might as well use it for sharing all kinds of goodies instead. Wutevah. Hope you folks enjoy. Also, I like kitty cats.

God damn I need one of those nifty LJ name-change tokens. I DON'T FEEL SO CHAOTICALLY WHIMSICAL ANYMORE, YOU GUYS. WTF @ them being $15.00 though. WTF!

There is rarely a justifiable excuse for a lack of inspiration. Writer's block stems from stress, agitation, disregard, and most of all, fear. A halt in art production, words being penned, is attributed to the undeniable, irreversible, inevitable human flaw of being too afraid to create something mundane. We all strive to be great. If not the greatest, then at least someone significant, worthy, consequential, important. Thus is the curse of an artist's mind. Those who search for beauty in a world all too often filled with disillusionment will always be terrified of not succeeding, or even worse, succeeding without recognition. Self-recognition only goes so far and can create feelings of extreme loneliness - egotistical characteristics notwithstanding. The quest for beauty has a jading affect on those who partake in it due to the massive quantities of the mediocre, where one has to sift through forests of dull grey weeds before stumbling across - usually merely through serendipity! - that rare, luminous flower. That search, that process for something great hacks away at the once optimistic artist because there is absolutely no escape from the menacing forest of mundanity and the mere thought of it is enough to deter some. However, it is the artist's job and obligation to K E E P G O I N G .

x I'm beginning to really hate Livejournal. I have nothing to say to this white box, really. Textual blogging will probably be sparse from here on out; I'll mostly just post music and pictures and stuff. Perhaps even take the friends only command out of my journal completely.

x I just de-friended a shitload of people who bore me or don't update. Feel free to remove me as well. I don't really care.

x I was all ready to transfer to another university during Christmas break, but then classes started and I got to know my professors. I love them.

x I have finally admitted that I'm indeed a neat freak.

x The Asian population here at UofM is genuinely mind-boggling. I'm not sure I'm okay with it.

x Hot damn I'm narcissistic.

End!

Comment with something you've always wanted to say to somebody but never had the chance. You don't have to say who, or what, or give any details whatsoever.

I've turned off IP logging, and you can choose to comment anonymously or not. It doesn't matter. I'm sick of keeping secrets, aren't you?

Friends cut.

HAY. HAY YOU. YEAH, I'M TALKIN' TO YOU. Use SendSpace and upload your favourite song as a reply to this post.

Plz? I am in DIRE NEED of new music. Do you hear me? DIRE. NEED. It can be whatever genre you want because I'll give anything a listen.

x It snowed today - big honkin' white flakes that'll take out an eyeball if you try to stare one down. Believe me, I know from freaking experience. Technically it's still autumn, but Michigan weather makes no distinctions! It laughs in the face of nature! "MUUU-AHAHAHAA!" I don't know why I like rain and snow so much. I like the sun, but probably 70% of the time when I walk outside on a bright day I mumble and groan and I hate it. I think it's probably because I hate squinting to be able to see, and I'm way to fucking lazy to wear sunglasses. I think I like snow and rain so much because I just like the idea of shit falling from the sky. It's cool, when you think about it. There's stuff falling from the sky! And you're not dying; it's not the end of the world! Sweet.

x Should I start an advice column on Livejournal? AHAHAHAHAH. I would definitely get a kick out of it.

x The boy situation finally died down. Less of the insane jealousy and just general batshit. I haven't been receiving many IMs; they're mainly along the lines of "hey how are you what'd you think of the lecture today oh okay hahaha I know right okay see you later!" I think it's helped that I haven't been to discussion in about a week, too. Haha. I hate my history class.

x MY MOMMY GAVE ME HER MERCEDES, OFFICIALLY. Like, my name's on all the documents and shit now. *SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE* Okay, sorry, shouldn't be gloating about this, I know. ARGH, but you have to understand that I've been in love with that car since my daddy gave it to her for their anniversary. Speaking of my parents, I realise that I really have no patience with people who have no respect for their parents. Like, seriously, people. These people are fucking paying for your college tuition and gave you a roof over your head for your entire pathetic 18 years of existence, so for the FUCKING LOVE OF GOD do not talk to them with contempt! I'd complain more about this, but I'll leave it for now; I feel that it needs an entire entry on its own, anyway.

x You know, you really know you're cool when you spend half of your Livejournal entry talking about the weather. I'm going to go shut my head in an oven now, thanks.



EDIT EDIT!
( I like this meme, it's interesting. )

Last night I realised just how much I enjoy the synth. I will automatically like any band with a synth player. Is it coincidence that four of my favourite bands are Shiny Toy Guns, Metric, HelloGoodbye, and The Faint? I THINK NOT!

It will be so, so sad when I grow out of the pop punk rock phase. T_T

I've been listening to the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack on repeat this evening to set the mood for the Halloween party I'm going to. I love Halloween. A lot. Also, for your holiday enjoyment, I've uploaded covers of Nightmare Before Christmas songs. Even if you don't like the artists that did the covers, download these songs anyway; PANIC! at the Disco, I think, is the PERFECT band for This Is Halloween and Fiona Apple sings Sally's Song better than Sally does. XD I also really, really like the Marilyn Manson one, even though I think he's the scariest man alive (right after Michael Jackson, that is...)

Plz to be commenting if you download, k?

THIS IS HALLOWEEN -- MARILYN MANSON COVER

THIS IS HALLOWEEN -- PANIC! AT THE DISCO COVER

SALLY'S SONG -- FIONA APPLE COVER

WHAT'S THIS -- FALL OUT BOY COVER

I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS SOUNDTRACK OKAY?

AHHHHHHHHHH. wlekfjwelkjfwkHALLOWEEN IS AWESOME.
D'okay party time bye.

It's been a while since I did this, and I've really missed making these for people. Links are behind the cut.

If you enjoy happy, punky/poppy, rockish, dance-worthy, groove-worthy, let your hair down and sing into your hairbrush type of music, then this playlist is for you. Seriously. These songs make me so happy and I think they're a big reason as to why I had such fun in my dorm room this term. Plz to be enjoying these songs as much as I do, kthnx.





( Folks, dance like nobody's watching. Or dance like everybody's watching. Whichever. )

If you download, you must comment. Or you will die.
AHAHAH. Just kidding.
Maybe.

D'OKAY BYE.

ZERO. I think I enjoy House, M.D. more than I enjoy(ed) Alias. I really hate to admit this, though, because Alias was my first love. But seriously, those who don't watch House should really start. It is quality quality quality.

UN. It's been three weeks at the University of Michigan, now, and I'm already missing my family. A lot. At first it was extremely vexing when my parents called every day, sometimes twice a day!, but they haven't called for over 48 hours now and every time I think about calling them it's at 2:40AM because I think that's when I decided I'm most insecure. I want to call. I can't call. They still think I go to sleep at 10:30. I'm always going to pine for my parents and sister, even when I shut myself in my own room away from them when they're around me. I guess the idea of them just being there is comforting. Who am I kidding? I'm still a little girl, embroidered with naivety like a pink lace dress. College isn't going to change that. No amount of marijuana, alcohol or cigarrettes will change that. I want my parents to know that, before it's too late. Before I start denying my naviety in exchange for...something else.

UN. Does anyone else feel like they're always in the perpetual state of looking for something? The first time I posed this question I meant it more literally than figuratively because I always have a damn hard time keeping track of my room key, but now...now I look at this question with literature in my brain, I guess. It could be because I just finished reading Kafka Was the Rage, and that book will open many a metaphorical door. Highly recommended.

DEUX. Speaking of Kafka Was the Rage, it is quickly becoming my favourite book so far in the year of 2006. Here is a selection:

The Village was as close in 1946 as it would ever come to Paris in the twenties. Rents were cheap, restaurants were cheap, and it seemed to me that happiness itself might be cheaply had. The streets and bars were full of writers and painters and the kind of young men and women who liked to be around them. In Washington Square would-be novelists and poets tossed a football near the fountain and girls just out of Ivy Leavgue colleges looked at the landscape with art history in their eyes. People on the benches held books in their hands...

TROIS. I forgot to post these pictures so now they're randomly scattered. Hopefully, they won't be too mad at me for neglecting them. There are a few of them, but they're not too big, so I hope you'll forgive me for not using a cut. I guess I'll call this a Tribute to Two of My Favourite Cities in the World.


Paris; The Tower.


Beijing; bicycles.


Beijing; Town Hall.


Beijing; Night Lights.


Beijing; In Transit.


Beijing; Tian An Men Square.


Beijing; Loved Ones.

CINQ. I should really go to sleep. My life consists of the following things right now: reading, alcohol, rain, sleep, disgust, apprehension, hunger, walking, umbrellas, laundry rooms, pizza, losing my room key at least twice a day. Boring? Maybe, to some. I have no problem with it, though. Also, I know this is random, but there is this girl across the hall who is genuinely scared of me. I have exhibited signs that I dislike her, but never anything to merit fear. Well, I guess that's how I present sometimes. Hmm.

HUIT. Fibonacci Sequence. I dig it. Do you?

Goodnight.

I'm going home tomorrow, and as much as I enjoyed the smoggy, crowded, cheap goodness that is Beijing, I think I'm quite ready to see my friends again, who're the BEST EVER, by the way, since they're driving half an hour to the airport to pick me up.

I need someone to help me move into UofM because my mom doesn't arrive until the 28th and I move in on the 27th. Anyone want to help? ^__^

Things I am looking forward to:
-- Signing up for classes
-- Going to class
-- School supply shopping (MINDY, WANT TO COME WITH ME?!)
-- *insert obligatory college-drinking remark*
-- Meeting CHASE! [frodolives33] in Ann Arbor! (Chase, I'mma need your phone number. I could look on Facebook but I am way, WAY too lazy.)
-- Meeting my roommate
-- Having no parents around while in college - they won't even be in the same continent, YAY!

Things I dread:
-- Orientation - I've heard it's wicked boring.
-- Running errands back and forth to the bank to make sure those bastards don't fuck up my account. They better recognise.
-- The 11+ hour plane ride back to good ol' USofA.
-- Moving my building block furniture in my dorm room. I have no upper arm strength whatsoever.

Anyway, I really don't have anything substantial to say. I've been on an old school pop-punk music kick lately so, I uploaded some for your enjoyment! WHOOOOO! Download = comment, KAY?

The Breakup Song -- American Hi-Fi [.m4a format]

Nothing Left to Lose -- American Hi-Fi [.m4a format]

Stuck in America -- Sugarcult

My Friends Over You -- New Found Glory

Now is the Time -- Slick Shoes [.m4a format]


( This meme is completely irrelevant to anything even remotely related to the Hogwarts Houses. But I am a sucker, I guess. )

And that's a wrap! Exit, stage left!

[X] I don't like socialising with family. My philosophy is, since these people share your genetic code, flesh and blood, then one shouldn't waste time "bonding" because one is close with one's family already. Talking, going on family oriented vacations, doing "family board game nights" are just numerous signs of a large, underlying problem - insecurities, a build up and the buying into of "happy family" cliches, regrets, and so on and so forth. That is not to say that one should disrespect one's family. No, that's just as bad. Reverence and respect are crucial to people like siblings, parents, even ancestors. But hell, that could just be the crazy Chinese chick in me talking. Families are weird. :X

[X] frodolives33 posted a GIFT MEME that is sweet. This is like, the first LJ whore meme that I've done, so this is kind of a moment for me. Oh, and people I know In Real Life are not eligible, because I'm getting you guys presents anyway. I like this meme 'cause it doesn't stroke anyone's ego or cause drama. *Looks pointedly at the Snaps Cup and Anti-Snaps Cup meme*

[X] Brasil v. Ghana tonight at 11.00PM and France v. Spain at 3.00AM. So far, every single one of my predictions have been correct except for Switzerland v. Ukraine. I never expected Ukraine to own in a shoot out. Never ever ever. The unpredictability of this sport just makes me respect it even more. I'm trying really hard not to jump on the Cristiano Ronaldo bandwagon (as it is riddled with mindless fangirls...?) but him crying after being taken out of the Portugal game was kind of moving. Ahhhhhh!

[X] Today I frantically tore the apartment apart looking for my Notebook of Power and my journal. I remember putting on my nightstand a week ago, then we purged my room of all things old, unused and smelly and I never saw those two things again. I freaked out. I almost started crying. Such a surge in emotion struck me as irrational at the time - I thought, jesus, why am I so distraught over losing a couple notebooks? Now, though, after flipping through both my journal and my Notebook of Power I realise that I've put so much of myself and personality into these things that if I lose them, it'll literally be like losing a part of myself. Not that I'll be incomplete without a few sheets of paper in my life, but because I've worked so hard compiling my Notebook and journal, it would be absolutely devastating if they were lost on a whim. The mere thought of it makes me shudder. In the end, it turns out my sister took all my notebooks and post-it notes and hoarded them in her room. She's such a little rat, I swear.

Here is what the inside of my Notebook of Power looks like:
( Photos are rather large... )

[X] My dad is on a business trip. Honestly, my parents said that this is the last long vacation I'll spend with my family so no matter what, I have to come back to China with them instead of spending the time in the States with numerous friends who will be on the other side of the country for college. My dad always works, my mum is busy finding a school for my sister, getting her job all set, learning how to drive here, and I just end up staying at home. Which further solidifies my point in bullet number one.

[X] I redid my userinfo. Because I don't like socialising with my family.

[X] Alright, alright. My sister may be a rat, but she's still the coolest little kid evah:





[X] Also, because I am a freak, I recently changed my Facebook picture. I think I might have issues.



The end!